Bentley's

View the entire Bentley's photostream with comments here.

Also, to see a map of Bentley's location click here. Sorry, no website this time. That's just for teenagers and youngins'.

Curb Appeal & Location: Mark

I’m getting married in 17 days!!!!! Oh, and Bentley’s is located in a hotel off Rt. 50 that may or may not still be open for business. It’s hard to tell. Thanks folks!

(Note: this post was not actually written by Mark)

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Food & Beverage: Brian

I know you’re wondering, dear readers, if the sensitive, fickle palates of the Thurber household were diminished during our long, summer hiatus. Never fear - with our recent trip to Bentley’s, the long hibernation of our cynical taste buds came to an abrupt end with the familiar taste of mediocrity. Yep, I come out swinging.

Out of any other restaurant we’ve visited, no other says “I’m old and set in my ways” more than Bentley’s. Don’t get me wrong the food wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t stellar. Imagine a menu that represents every aspect of typical Americana (a la Shoney’s minus the buffet.) We sampled a fair portion of the gems Bentley’s had to offer. After much deliberation, I tried the Chicken Florentine, Matt had Pasta Primavera, Tommy the Fried Chicken, Mark a scant plate of Chicken Fingers (on a diet for the wedding), and Laurie chose the Country Fried Steak in spite of being from New Jersey. We all drank water. As mentioned previously, I would venture to say our party was certainly full after our entrees, but certainly not overly satisfied nor impressed. I can speak for Matt and I by saying the “cream sauce” tasted like the remnants of condensed New England clam chowder mixed with water. Also, Laurie was miffed at Bentley’s refusal to properly identify corn and potatoes as starches.

Lastly, in a rare Thurber Party occurrence, all five of us ordered dessert from the old school pie case. Tommy and I had apple pie, Mark and Laurie had the carrot cake, and Matt savored the lemon cake. We all agreed we saved the best for last. As our evening winded down, we all agreed Bentley’s was a place we never visited before, yet the fare was absolutely too familiar. Come to expect this when you visit a restaurant with 70s green decor, attached to a motel, and whispers of retirement and health problems fill the dining room air.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Service & Cost: Tommy

When I walked through the door beneath the green and white, 70’s-era awning outside Bentley’s, I thought to myself, “I’ve been here before, except it was called Marie Callendar’s.” We lamented the fact that we got there around 6:45 (early for a Thurber blog dinner) and completely missed the presumed 4pm early bird rush. The woman who tended to our table didn’t seem to know what to make of this group of 20-somethings breaking up the usual crowd of retirees. I can only assume that the workers here are accustomed to the patrons having some form of deteriorated hearing, because they talked loud enough to disturb anyone but the hearing impaired.

“Julie!! BRING IT!!” bellowed our server from the back, for an item that we couldn’t see. Julie apparently brought it, because we didn’t hear any more about it, but after about a 20-minute wait for our food, I wanted to see if I could yell the same thing and get Julie to bring our meals. Mark got hearty congratulations from the waitress for finishing his chicken tenders, with the sort of feigned enthusiasm usually reserved for a 4 year old who has just finished his or her broccoli. I was slightly worried that I wasn’t going to be allowed to eat a slice of pie because I didn’t finish all of my corn, but to my surprise, my request for dessert met no (verbally expressed) resistance. Overall, the cost of the meal was right at average, a fact explicitly stated by Bentley’s exterior sign. If you enjoy getting a taste of the respect given to The Greatest Generation, stop by Bentley’s, where you can get your dinner, dessert, and still be home in time to watch Matlock.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Ambiance & Entertainment: Matt

The sign out front says “Celebrating 27 Years of Service,” but it very well could have said “Celebrating 27 Years with the Same Furniture and Unusual Decorating Scheme!.” Even before arriving, we had been informed that Bentley’s generally caters to an older crowd (i.e. retirement age). This fact would prove to be obvious on a number of levels throughout our visit. First there is the aforementioned furniture and décor. Bentley’s interior combines a unique mixture of old-fashioned diner sensibilities (countertop bar seating, murky glass dessert case, paper placemats, seafoam green seat cushions that you would normally expect to be covered in plastic) with outlandish aristocratic/equestrian-themed accessories. The entire restaurant – seriously, the entire place - is covered with wallpaper that depicts various fox hunting scenes. Statues of sporting dogs and horses are displayed in the windows. Equestrian gear, such as stirrups and riding helmets, are hung on the walls. Whose idea was this? How does this make sense? As far as I can guess, the only common denominator in this design scheme is that it’s all stuff that old people might like.

The second feature that makes it obvious that Bentley’s attracts old folks is the types of conversation that could be heard around the dining room - mostly stuff about retirement plans, the latest grandkid news and the weather (most of that is true). There was also a general quietness and slowness around the restaurant that reminded me of vacations spent around my grandparents’ house. I can almost hear my parents reminding me, “It’s just a different pace of life.” The third, final and most obvious feature that makes it clear that Bentley’s is for old timers is the fact that we were 30-40 years younger than every other person eating in the restaurant. And just how I always somehow enjoyed visiting my grandparents even though it wasn’t exactly what I would call “fun,” somehow I also enjoyed this visit to Bentley’s even though it wasn’t exactly what I would call “good.”

Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

Guest of Honor Review: Laurie Westock

There are many things that can swiftly bring back memories of home; hugging someone who smells the way mom did as she read a bed-time story, big coniferous trees that arouse memories of adventures had under the "giant" pines in the backyard, or a man's Old Spice cologne that suddenly retrieves the forgotten sound of how Pop Pop said "Hel-looo!" while giving you a wonderfully stifling embrace.

Bentley's was another one of those places that flooded my senses, bringing back memories of youthful days spent in... New Jersey. That's right! For a couple of glorious hours on Monday night, dinner with the Thurber boys transported me back to my beloved home state. From the classic diner decor--highly outdated but with the usual quirky theme, to the staff who seemed to have nothing to lose and plenty of time, to senior citizen conversations about retirement, this place was the epitome of the "just-off-of-the-highway-diner." Although it was nice to have a glimpse of home, I was glad to be stepping back into northern Virgina when we left the restaurant. With a whiff of fresh air, I could still smell the country fried steak on my clothes...and maybe Tommy's fried chicken, too. I'll have to wash that shirt twice :-)

PS-The carrott cake was amazing.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Bentley's

Overall Rating: 1.8 Thurbs

Bubba's Bar-B-Q

Note: TP4 apologizes for the long delay since our last review and update. Even blogs have to take a summer vacation. Thanks for reading!

View the entire Bubba's Bar-B-Q photostream with comments here.

Also check out the Bubba's website - it's priceless!

Location/Curb Appeal: Brian

The large, red letters of Bubba’s BBQ shine like a beacon of southern hospitality just off Lee Highway near Fairview Park Road. Although tucked in the corner of a strip of other Falls Church eateries and the austere “7 Market”, the sign is clearly visible, but does little to entice the eye. The panache of Bubba’s website makes up for the rather ordinary exterior should you venture that far in your research. Be prepared for a barrage of swine imagery depicting every aspect of Americana. Pigs on the space shuttle? Who knew? I do believe Bubba’s curb appeal would be something to write home about should it be located in a standalone building and free of the constraints of strip mall uniformity. However, this was not the case and as the restaurant is located off a frontage road, you may drive past it on your first trip. Be vigilant.

Dear Readers, don’t be fooled by the typicality of Bubba’s storefront or location. The website, interior, and catering van out front do justice to a Falls Church establishment priding itself on good food and friendly service. If you have a hankering for BBQ or just want to see an absurd amount of pig paraphernalia, be sure to make a stop. Bubba’s BBQ is no pig in a poke.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Food & Beverage: Tommy

Note: Tommy did not submit a review this week, but this is what the editor imagines he might have said about Bubba’s.

Bar-B-Q! I’m from North Carolina, so that means I am extremely opinionated about Bar-B-Q. And Bubba’s does a good job with it. We ate BBQ pork and chicken sandwiches that came with standard sides like fries, cole slaw and hush puppies. Someone ate a hamburger, which seems pretty ridiculous in a Bar-B-Q restaurant – but live and let live.

Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Guest of Honor Kelsey Downs

As I sit down to write this I'm finding it a little hard not to explain to you the plethora of pigs that were living in this restaurant. No, not live pigs but just the creepy kind you would find in your dead relatives house. Even a pig with largest eyebrows you have ever seen...But alas, I will push past this to relay to you my stance on the service and cost. The service was top notch as we were greeted by a cheerful man with a nice accent and a slew of one-liners that he constantly threw out throughout our time there. He even managed to give us tips on ordering by alerting us that the prices were not just in his head but also on the menu so we needn't waste our questions on him. The cost wasn't bad either. The guys seemed to be rather delighted with the $4.95 pitcher of beer and the $5/6/7ish meals weren't too bad as well. Taken from a college kid who's used to being frugal, I'd say all around it wasn't a bad deal at all.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Ambiance/Entertainment: Mark

In the words of our comrade Matt Warren, "Whoa! Pigs galore.” Imagine the middle aged single women who is obsessed with Beanie Babies, and swap out the Beanies for Weanies(almost clever). There were hundreds of pigs scattered through out the store. The dead ones were already being cooked, but I am referring to the figurines and stuffed pigs scattered throughout the place. If I remember correctly, there was even a trophy case with, what one can only assume, the valuable pigs. The familiar yellow-once was white-color scheme could be noticed throughout the restaurant, but nothing was inherently dirty. Some things just looked like they may never come clean. The menu above the counter was the black felt kind with the plastic white/yellow letters that was supplied by Pepsi back in the '90's. No frills, but a lot of pigs. It seemed to be a bit of an over compensation complex. I'd say, based on the accent of the guy running the show, he didn't grow up on Southern BBQ or Sweet Tea. Nonetheless, it kinda felt like you went back in time--I mean, went south a few states. Like many of our dinners, we were 4 of 8 customers for the duration of our dinner.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Bubba's Bar-B-Q

Overall Rating: 2 Thurbs

Majestic Seafood

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Location/Curb Appeal: Tommy

To give the reader a little background on this trip, we knew that this wasn't going to be your standard, American restaurant. Upon calling to inquire about the hours for the restaurant, the woman answering the phone was unable to understand what I was asking ("How late are you open?") or responding. She handed me off to the person who tells English-speakers the general information for the establishment and we were off on our journey (it's open till 2am, for those of you who want to get there for the late bird specials).

For the trick to getting people to come to the restaurant/crab house, Majestic takes a page out of the playbook of Las Vegas, Atlantic City, and Tunica. The brightest neon on Annandale strip, coupled with some out-of-the-ordinary sights for a seafood restaurant (neon-lit palm trees?), and you've got all of the ingredients for the best night club that West Falls Church has to offer. We had seen this spectacle many times before, and even got an up-close and personal look at it during our previous trip to La Granja de Oro (see past blog post), but like the saying goes, “almost only counts in horseshoes and incomplete tasks.” We parked in a prime spot, given that 5 out of 7 of the front spots were designated for the handicapped. The cops don't start policing the joint until about 10pm, so if you want to bring the whole family, I'd suggest you get there by NEVER o'clock. This place is easy to find and if you’re curious to see the inside of what looks like a Las Vegas warehouse…you’ll probably make the same mistake decision we did and head on inside.

Rating: 3 Thurbs

Food & Beverage: Matt

Maybe it was all the Starbursts I ate a few hours before our dinner. Maybe it was the fact that we didn’t actually begin eating until about 9:15pm en la noche. Maybe it was all the chips that I snacked on before our orders were served (along with two types of salsa – one which was clearly Pace Picante straight out of the jar and the other which was clearly Tapatio hot sauce also straight out of the bottle). Maybe it was frustration over yet another restaurant with a complete lack of meatless options. In any case, I was not digging the food at Majestic.

Due to its vegetarian-unfriendliness, I resorted to ordering the “Ceviche Mixto,” a seafood dish with a mixto of shrimp, calamari, some kind of fish and (yikes) baby octopus. Eating something like this is a reach in itself for me, and my distaste for the food was intensified by the fact that everything felt and tasted like I was eating rubber. Incidentally, the ceviche was served with a huge piece of corn that was probably the strangest and grossest corn I have ever eaten. The reactions of my fellow diners ranged from mutual dissatisfaction to “It was alright.” Brian ordered some sort of fried chicken with fried eggs and French fries (a lot of fried stuff) that he quickly regretted. Tommy continued his tradition of ordering nachos any time they are available and found himself in the “It was alright” category. Kristin ordered fish, which she gave a similar rating. Mark was the lone happy diner with his “Lomo Saltado” (beef with vegetables – same as Brian ordered weeks ago at the neighboring La Granja de Oro). In an attempt to sabotage his pleasant meal, I stashed the head of one of my baby octopus in with his beef, but he did not seem phased by that rubbery addition. There may be good reasons to visit Majestic, but the food is most certainly not one of them.

Rating: 1 Thurb

Service/Cost: Mark

After corralling my plunder from the Depot for Homes, I darted over to the Majestic. For those of you still reading, you have no idea how hard it is to limit my review to just service and cost. Wow, this was a good night. I had no idea what I was in for. I really thought this was a family owned seafood restaurant, but to my suprise, our waitress didn't have a the tacky floral shirt, khaki shorts, and white keds. Rather, a Hooters® waitress from south of the border was tending to our party. I wasn't witness to our original waitress or to the person who eventually took our orders, so I can't really comment. According to the other thurbs, the original waitress was quickly swapped out due to a language barrier. The service throughout the evening comprised of the waitress asking us if we wanted refills(this was mainly done via pointing).

The price was on the steep side for the quanity/quality of food-not your traditional large plate mexican restaurant. Likewise, I never saw the prices for any of the entrees. I do know that I gave Tommy $15 dollars before I jetted for the evening, and I it was worth every penny.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Click below to check out an example of the Hispanic jams we were listening to:

Ambience & Entertainment: Brian

Where to begin!? Now that the reggaeton beat is engrained in your head, it is time to recount the sheer amazement that was Majestic. Living up to the its namesake, picture a dance floor that takes up the majority of the dining room. Red leather sofas and chairs line the side opposite the DJ’s station, and overhead, a rack of disco balls, laser lights, and smoke machines crowd the ceiling welcoming the night’s guests. Majestic’s atmosphere didn’t end there. Every corner of the establishment was filled with some aspect designed to entice or entertain. From the VIP bar nearest our table, to the corner bar, to the main bar, to the numerous flat screens displaying telenovelas on Univision, Majestic’s interior left no eye uncaught.

Although the restaurant was virtually empty upon our arrival, we soon discovered that Majestic became increasingly entertaining as the evening progressed. Towards the end of our meal, the aforementioned laser lights and smoke machines were brought to life as Latin grooves and hip hop beats filled the air. The cages on either side of the DJ’s booth left little to be imagined as to their use. Heavyset bouncers arrived and began screening potential customers. Amidst all of these attractions, the five of us enjoyed dancing at our table, eyeing the incoming patrons, and wondering just what would unfold could we stay a bit longer on this Monday summer night. Even if you never taste the food at Majestic, let the lighted palm trees along Annandale Road draw you inside for a closer look and don’t let the bouncers scare you off.

Rating: 4 Thurbs

Overall Rating: 2.375

Guest of Honor Review: Kristin Neal

Well, I had just about given up on these boys. Tommy, Matt, Brian, and Mark – the Thurbster Crew, as I like to call them. After all my sassy comments about the lottery for the past 15 weeks, I had sort of gotten over the whole thing. So when I got that text I’d be waiting for all summer, “YOU WON!!” I thought, “That’s cool, I guess.” Little did I know that the good Lord had a plan for me that would surpass all my expectations. Has anyone ever heard me talk about how I think I was actually supposed to be Latina but somehow came out as a redhead instead? Give me a little reggaeton or salsa beat and my day is made. And so, I knew it was going to be a fabulous evening when we stepped into Majestic and seemed to interrupt a steamy rumba lesson on the dance floor. So this is where all the fun has been hiding in Falls Church… lazer lights, VIP bars, amoeba/jellyfish floating around the walls (hard to explain), Cadillac Margaritas, glowing palm trees, heart-palpitating music, and not one ounce of English on the menu? Sounds like a vacation to me! I can’t decide what I liked best – the hot pink and black bra our waitress was wearing underneath her sheer white shirt or the little shimmy I was able to sneak in while crossing the dance floor on my way to the bathroom. Whoever said white girls can’t dance has never invited Kristin Neal to Majestic. Thanks Thurbster for the best night my summer has seen yet.

Remember to enter the lottery for the upcoming week! You've got to play to win...but sometimes, you have to win to play.

This Week's Lottery Winner!

We have randomly drawn from the names entered. This week's "Guest of Honor". 

This week's lesson: It pays to have red hair. While it may get you teased on the playground in elementary school, having red hair has been proven* to give you a better chance in the Thurber Lottery based on the fact that the past 2 winners have had red hair. Keep up the good work gingerkids!

We have reset the names for the lottery and you must enter your name again each week. To enter, scroll to the bottom of this page and look for the Guest of Honor section. No duplicate winners will be selected until everyone has had a turn. Enter your name anytime between Saturday and Thursday night. Remember - Thurber Party of 4 "followers" will have their entries counted twice in the drawing. New posts will be published on Wednesdays and the weekly Guest of Honor winner will be selected each Friday.

*This has not been proven, and any coincidence between winning and having red hair is just that.