Also, to see a map of Bentley's location click here. Sorry, no website this time. That's just for teenagers and youngins'.
I’m getting married in 17 days!!!!! Oh, and Bentley’s is located in a hotel off Rt. 50 that may or may not still be open for business. It’s hard to tell. Thanks folks!
(Note: this post was not actually written by Mark)
Rating: 2 Thurbs
Food & Beverage: Brian
I know you’re wondering, dear readers, if the sensitive, fickle palates of the Thurber household were diminished during our long, summer hiatus. Never fear - with our recent trip to Bentley’s, the long hibernation of our cynical taste buds came to an abrupt end with the familiar taste of mediocrity. Yep, I come out swinging.
Out of any other restaurant we’ve visited, no other says “I’m old and set in my ways” more than Bentley’s. Don’t get me wrong the food wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t stellar. Imagine a menu that represents every aspect of typical Americana (a la Shoney’s minus the buffet.) We sampled a fair portion of the gems Bentley’s had to offer. After much deliberation, I tried the Chicken Florentine, Matt had Pasta Primavera, Tommy the Fried Chicken, Mark a scant plate of Chicken Fingers (on a diet for the wedding), and Laurie chose the Country Fried Steak in spite of being from New Jersey. We all drank water. As mentioned previously, I would venture to say our party was certainly full after our entrees, but certainly not overly satisfied nor impressed. I can speak for Matt and I by saying the “cream sauce” tasted like the remnants of condensed New England clam chowder mixed with water. Also, Laurie was miffed at Bentley’s refusal to properly identify corn and potatoes as starches.
Lastly, in a rare Thurber Party occurrence, all five of us ordered dessert from the old school pie case. Tommy and I had apple pie, Mark and Laurie had the carrot cake, and Matt savored the lemon cake. We all agreed we saved the best for last. As our evening winded down, we all agreed Bentley’s was a place we never visited before, yet the fare was absolutely too familiar. Come to expect this when you visit a restaurant with 70s green decor, attached to a motel, and whispers of retirement and health problems fill the dining room air.
When I walked through the door beneath the green and white, 70’s-era awning outside Bentley’s, I thought to myself, “I’ve been here before, except it was called Marie Callendar’s.” We lamented the fact that we got there around 6:45 (early for a Thurber blog dinner) and completely missed the presumed 4pm early bird rush. The woman who tended to our table didn’t seem to know what to make of this group of 20-somethings breaking up the usual crowd of retirees. I can only assume that the workers here are accustomed to the patrons having some form of deteriorated hearing, because they talked loud enough to disturb anyone but the hearing impaired.
“Julie!! BRING IT!!” bellowed our server from the back, for an item that we couldn’t see. Julie apparently brought it, because we didn’t hear any more about it, but after about a 20-minute wait for our food, I wanted to see if I could yell the same thing and get Julie to bring our meals. Mark got hearty congratulations from the waitress for finishing his chicken tenders, with the sort of feigned enthusiasm usually reserved for a 4 year old who has just finished his or her broccoli. I was slightly worried that I wasn’t going to be allowed to eat a slice of pie because I didn’t finish all of my corn, but to my surprise, my request for dessert met no (verbally expressed) resistance. Overall, the cost of the meal was right at average, a fact explicitly stated by Bentley’s exterior sign. If you enjoy getting a taste of the respect given to The Greatest Generation, stop by Bentley’s, where you can get your dinner, dessert, and still be home in time to watch Matlock.
Rating: 1.5 Thurbs
Ambiance & Entertainment: Matt
The sign out front says “Celebrating 27 Years of Service,” but it very well could have said “Celebrating 27 Years with the Same Furniture and Unusual Decorating Scheme!.” Even before arriving, we had been informed that Bentley’s generally caters to an older crowd (i.e. retirement age). This fact would prove to be obvious on a number of levels throughout our visit. First there is the aforementioned furniture and décor. Bentley’s interior combines a unique mixture of old-fashioned diner sensibilities (countertop bar seating, murky glass dessert case, paper placemats, seafoam green seat cushions that you would normally expect to be covered in plastic) with outlandish aristocratic/equestrian-themed accessories. The entire restaurant – seriously, the entire place - is covered with wallpaper that depicts various fox hunting scenes. Statues of sporting dogs and horses are displayed in the windows. Equestrian gear, such as stirrups and riding helmets, are hung on the walls. Whose idea was this? How does this make sense? As far as I can guess, the only common denominator in this design scheme is that it’s all stuff that old people might like.
The second feature that makes it obvious that Bentley’s attracts old folks is the types of conversation that could be heard around the dining room - mostly stuff about retirement plans, the latest grandkid news and the weather (most of that is true). There was also a general quietness and slowness around the restaurant that reminded me of vacations spent around my grandparents’ house. I can almost hear my parents reminding me, “It’s just a different pace of life.” The third, final and most obvious feature that makes it clear that Bentley’s is for old timers is the fact that we were 30-40 years younger than every other person eating in the restaurant. And just how I always somehow enjoyed visiting my grandparents even though it wasn’t exactly what I would call “fun,” somehow I also enjoyed this visit to Bentley’s even though it wasn’t exactly what I would call “good.”
Rating: 2.5 Thurbs
Guest of Honor Review: Laurie Westock
There are many things that can swiftly bring back memories of home; hugging someone who smells the way mom did as she read a bed-time story, big coniferous trees that arouse memories of adventures had under the "giant" pines in the backyard, or a man's Old Spice cologne that suddenly retrieves the forgotten sound of how Pop Pop said "Hel-looo!" while giving you a wonderfully stifling embrace.
Bentley's was another one of those places that flooded my senses, bringing back memories of youthful days spent in... New Jersey. That's right! For a couple of glorious hours on Monday night, dinner with the Thurber boys transported me back to my beloved home state. From the classic diner decor--highly outdated but with the usual quirky theme, to the staff who seemed to have nothing to lose and plenty of time, to senior citizen conversations about retirement, this place was the epitome of the "just-off-of-the-highway-diner." Although it was nice to have a glimpse of home, I was glad to be stepping back into northern Virgina when we left the restaurant. With a whiff of fresh air, I could still smell the country fried steak on my clothes...and maybe Tommy's fried chicken, too. I'll have to wash that shirt twice :-)
PS-The carrott cake was amazing.
Rating: 1.5 Thurbs
Bentley's
Overall Rating: 1.8 Thurbs
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