La Granja de Oro

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Obscurity/Location/Curb Appeal: Tommy

Driving down Annandale Road, you may be tempted to drive right past La Granja de Oro (LGdO) by the glitz and glitter from nearby Majestic Seafood. With my foot riding the brake like I was negotiating a turn in driver’s ed class, I pulled into the parking lot of LGdO. Lo and behold, the 2nd place winner of the “Who has the most neon lights on this block?” contest! What LGdO lacks in pure wattage, they more than make up for in the fact that their building was once a Pizza Hut. Some businesses might demolish that recognizable structure in favor of their own style, but LGdO said no. “Those aren’t pizza-shaped windows,” they said.  “Those are Machu Picchu shaped windows.” If you park in the right spot, you can actually view a full third of the menu in picture and Spanish format on a large board right outside the entrance. This is a great bonus for both the English and words impaired, giving the patron a small glimpse of the Peruvian delicacies (read: meat) that is to come. Keep your eyes on the golden prize, stay away from the glamour of Majestic, and an Incan treasure is yours to behold.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Food/Beverage: Matt

La Granja de Oro serves Peruvian food.  If the Thurber Party and our special guests were dining in the ancient lost city of Machu Picchu, I would imagine the meal would be very similar to what we experienced at this restaurant.  Either that or something out of an Indiana Jones movie.  Actually, I have no idea what “authentic” or “good” Peruvian food is supposed to be.  But I can say for sure that our meal at La Granja was highly satisfactory.

Our dinner began with a pretty standard basket of dinner rolls, served with a fiery green sauce on the side.  Based just on its vibrant color and thickness, it would not be surprising to find out that this sauce came from the drain pipe of a nuclear waste facility.  However, based on taste, this was probably my favorite item from the entire meal – spicy, interesting, muy delicioso.

From there we moved on to our fine Peruvian entrees.  Tommy mildly enjoyed the “pollo en salsa de champignons” (trans: chicken in mushroom sauce).  They probably serve this same item in Italian restaurants and just call it a different name.  Brian liked the “tallarin saltado de carne” (trans: spaghetti with steak) but could not finish it all.  Preston, our out of town sub, dined on the “pollo saltado” (trans: jumping chicken?) and speculated that Peruvians must love their carbohydrates and starches, as each of our items was served with both rice and potatoes.  Our guest of honor was the star of the dinner as he feasted on a whole roasted chicken (to clarify, he ate the entire chicken by himself).  Sitting across from him as he tore through the entire thing, greasy hands and all, I can confidently say that this was probably as fun to watch as it was for him to eat.

You may be asking yourselves at this point, “I wonder what Matt the vegetarian ate at La Granja.”  Well, let’s just say this is not an accommodating place for vegetarians.  There was nothing on the menu that did not have meat in it.  I mean, literally nothing.  The soup of the day?  Beef soup.  Want some avocado?  Let us stuff it full of chicken first.  The only meatless items in the entire restaurant were the free salad bar and a few things on the kids’ menu.  So I sucked it up and ordered “pescado a la chorrilana,” i.e. fish.  It was pretty good and authentically Peruvian (or so I would guess).

Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Preston (out-of-town guest substitute for Mark)

First of all I would like to thank the guys of Thurber Court for including me in this outstanding event.   I know that I am not your beloved fourth roommate, but nonetheless ya’ll welcomed me in with open arms and for that I am honored.   With that being said let’s move onto the fun stuff - the actual dining experience.

Javier, our waiter for the evening, was quick to greet our table and welcomed us to La Granja de Oro.  He was a nice fella who kept us afloat with water all night.  After searching the menu for ages due to the copious amounts of detailed, descriptive entrees, we each settled on different selections.  Javier was kind when answering questions and steered us in the right direction with our choices.   Sure enough, right after we ordered our food it arrived for us within minutes.  Throughout the evening, Javier and his staff were good and treated us as regulars in this clearly popular location.  Although, when asked if we could play the drums, Javier responded with “Well…umm…the noise might make the others leave…I don’t want that”.  He was clearly in pure and utter disbelief that this group of five gentlemen would ask such a unique question.   All in all, I would give the service a good review and commend Javier on keeping us satisfied and stuffed.

When it comes to cost, this restaurant definitely affirms the statement that you cannot judge a book by its cover.  The outside of this place did not lead us to believe that we were entering the land of $14-$20 entrees. The price was expensive for such a place, however we each were overwhelmed with the plentiful amount of food. All in all this was a great evening and I thank the guys for including me.  Maybe one day I will be lucky enough to win the coveted lottery and be brought back again.  Until then my fingers are crossed and my prayers are en route.

Rating: 3 Thurbs

Ambiance/Entertainment: Brian

Although lacking the lighted palm trees of its flashy neighboring restaurant “Majestic,” La Granja De Oro is not to be outdone.  Unlike Pistone’s Italian Inn, La Granja actually is a converted Pizza Hut complete with illuminated flag pole out front.  Seemingly cheesy at first glance, La Granja’s ambience succeeds by narrating the story of Peru old and new.  Once inside, patrons are immediately transported to the lush hills of Machu Picchu, as painted scenes of Incan civilization adorn the walls.  Each table was neatly set and draped in traditional Peruvian woven cloths.  A fully stocked, elaborate, rather underutilized bar sat opposite the salad bar.  As the meals began to arrive, we noticed identical “golden” idols at each of the tables.  We didn’t verify it with our waiter Javier, but I’m pretty sure those idols were placed there to guard against food poisoning and slow service.

La Granja’s entertainment left something to be desired, but only because we came on the wrong night.  Hispanic music of some nature droned lightly in the background throughout the evening, but the real attention getters were the 6-piece drum kit, congas, and enough speakers to rival a Kiss concert.  To accompany these wonders were multiple tracks of stage lighting, a disco ball, and a neon star affixed to the ceiling above the dance floor.  I could envision the local Hispanic community lining up to enjoy an evening of salsa/meringue/whatever dancing as Latin American grooves fill the air and beats meant for hand drums are pounded out on the Yamaha set.  Perhaps we can return on a weekend and get a true sampling of Peruvian culture.  From the looks of it, I imagine La Granja de Oro sees more action on the weekends than the Pizza Hut ever did.

Rating: 2 Thurbs (only because they wouldn’t let Nathan play drums and there was no dancing) 

Guest of Honor Review: Nathan Mitchell

I don’t think any place Thurber Party of 4 goes to would be complete without a neon sign that’s missing some crucial letters: the sign read “LA GRANJA DE  RO.”  And since the translated name of the restaurant is “The Farm of Gold,” I will translate the neon sign as “The Farm of Old.” Mmm...reminds me of growing up in the fields of Peru, feeding the llamas, fighting the conquistadors...anyway as we walked up, everybody started getting this familiar vibe, which we all immediately recognized was because this place DEFINITELY used to be a pizza hut.  No question.  I mean it was a Pizza Hut.

When we got in it was wayyy nicer than we expected.  It was like a legit sit-down restaurant!  I believe I will be quoted as saying that La Granja would be an interesting place to bring a girl and see how she reacts, and judge all future interactions with her based on how she takes to the idol above our table, or the weird/nice stage lighting.  There was also a stage with drums and congas...and there was a relatively advanced sound system with PA speakers in every corner and subwoofers and all that...which led us all to the conclusion that this place throws down on the weekends...which was kinda hard to imagine because it was so...like...NICE.  When we saw the menu, it said, “FINE PERUVIAN CUISINE” which is great because Peruvians do a mean chicken.  So I opted for the curiously-less-expensive-than-everything-else Pollo Entero, aka an entire rotisserie chicken plus yuca, which proved to be an excellent decision!  Everybody’s meal was pretty good, and it freakin better have been, as every one of us threw in a $20 bill. Even though it was a pretty chilled out vibe, and even though I didn’t get to play the drums, and even though as we were leaving I noticed that there were pictures of llamas like seriously everywhere, we all had a pretty good time, and I will cherish this moment for the rest of my life.

Rating: 3 Thurbs

La Granja de Oro

Overall Rating: 2.5 Thurbs