Brinkley's

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Obscurity/Location/Curb Appeal: Brian

Only a stone’s throw from Pistone’s Italian Inn is another fine dining establishment known simply as Brinkley’s.  Due to its location in the bustling 7 Corners district, Brinkley’s is often overlooked by the average passerby.  Sandwiched between a nail/massage/tattoo parlor and the Sunoco on Hwy. 7, the brown paint and canary yellow awnings do little to attract attention.  Brinkley’s specializes in the all-too-familiar duo of Family Dining and Lounge/Pool Hall, but the exterior certainly doesn’t scream “family” or “safety.”   Two “park anywhere” lots (front and back) welcome all walks of vehicle life and their passengers.  In an attempt to attract more customers, neon signs crowd one window pleading with potential patrons, “We’re Open!”  Yes, even Brinkley’s has fallen victim to our battered economy.

If you happen to visit Brinkley’s in the near future, head to 7 Corners on Leesburg Pike, stay to your right, and slow down or you’ll certainly miss it.  Conveniently, the restaurant is open 24/7 to adapt to our never quit/no vacation DC lifestyles.

Rating: 1 Thurb

Food/Beverage: Tommy

After visiting Brinkley’s website, I was slightly worried about coming here the night before leaving for a business trip, and not because I thought that it would be so exciting that it would make the plane ride seem dull. As we pulled in to the parking lot, however, the black-stamped “Home Cooking” on the yellow awning eased some of this tension. Gibbons dragged his feet on the way in, but as soon as he saw that they served a few menu items that could not possibly be mangled too badly, he jumped right in, ordering a waffle and bacon (the same thing I would’ve gotten had I been 16 years younger).

The menu was set up to accommodate both young and old, with large pictures of the menu items. Everything from the 16oz. T-Bone steak to the platter of chicken “striplings” (don’t be fooled, they’re just strips/tenders) could be easily ordered by the number designated next to the entrée of choice, or by describing the picture you saw in the menu to the greeter/host/waiter/cook/maitre d’ (which was conveniently the same person). BP strayed from the norm, going with the pork chop, and upon its arrival, reaped the fruits of his wise choice. “Tastes like char!,” he exclaimed, which normally one would think would not be a good thing, but the bare bones 30 minutes later told a different story. Matt ordered the spicy omelette, sans meat. Although I have seen better omelettes, I have also seen far worse, and this one was resoundingly right in the middle on the “awesome omelette” spectrum. After this hearty meal, reminiscent of a late-night trip to a Waffle House, we made our way to the “lounge”, enjoying one of the many (3) domestic beers offered by the bar. While I have experienced both this type of food and this type of lounge better separately, never have I experienced them both together.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Matt

As far as I could tell, only two people were working at Brinkley’s on the night of our visit – one guy in the diner and one girl in the bar.  That in itself either means (1) these are the two most incredibly talented and efficient restaurant employees ever or (2) not very many people come here.  Without an employee to greet us at the door, we were left to welcome ourselves in and find a seat in the empty diner.  At this point, Brian rightly noticed a look on the face of the man behind the counter that seemed to say, “Ugh, now I have to do work.”  He approached our tables with a similar sentiment, wordlessly dropping menus in front of our group of five.

With a welcome like this, I was prepared for a night of absolutely awful customer service.  But, in Brinkleys’ defense, they really turner it around for the rest of our visit.  The waiter/cook took our orders and remembered all of it accurately without writing anything down (which admittedly is easier when there are only five orders in the whole restaurant to remember).  He brought out the food in a timely manner.  He agreed to split our checks, which scores major points in my book.  He even laughed at one of Gibbons’ jokes during checkout!

As far as the cost of a fine meal at Brinkley’s, it’s decently affordable for the diner food you are getting.  Not remarkably cheap, but also not ridiculously expensive.  Although there’s no telling where the prices will be for the next visit, as the handwritten adjustments on the menus seem to suggest an on-the-fly reaction to tough economic conditions.  Yesterday that omelette was $5.75.  Today it’s $6.20.  Tomorrow…$32.50.  Who knows?

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Ambiance/Entertainment: Mark

Imagine yourself continually adjusting your seating position to fit the one-piece laminated board which was artfully inspired by the '70's diner experience.  As you stare at the Sunbeam clock displaying the time quite accurately, you begin to notice that the yellow mustard clock face is similar in color to the bench you are sitting on - and really isn't that far displaced on the color spectrum from the wallpaper as well.  As you peer over your shoulder, you notice that the three chain-smoking patrons at the grill are dutifully obeying the two-seat-gap rule.  One is reading a book, another the paper, and the woman on the end of the line of stools is quietly pushing "the usual" around.  The plumes of smoke from both the guests and the grill are efficiently evacuated up, up and away by the exhaust fan.  Up…that's a good question.  Up is where the lounge is, and the lounge is a bar.  While there wasn't any lounging, there was the quintessential video poker machine at the bar and two standard pool tables being utilized by a few regulars.  Not so standard were the individuals playing chess and the recent high school graduate bartender.  If you find yourself doing a lot of imagining up to this point, you can stop now because you’re there.

While the upstairs hosts a karaoke night and DJ/dance events, the downstairs diner is not limited to times and performances which are inherent with bare entertainment.  The diner is restrained only by the number of dollar bills in your pocket.  The "Internet  Jukebox" boasts over 1000 songs, and our party only made its way through four or five.  Just as the tunes of Huey Lewis begin to wind down, the feeding frenzy is well beyond aborting to feed the box.  Subsequently, the Brinkley's vibe settled down to the hum of an overworked exhaust fan and quiet table conversation

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Overall Rating: 1.625 Thurbs

Guest of Honor Review: Andrew Gibbons

As I pulled into the parking lot, I knew that I was probably not going to be that blown away by Brinkley’s. The parking lot had no designated lines for parking, which I figured made sense, since everyone probably leaves as soon as possible when going there. As we walked into this restaurant, the same type that you would see on the 11 o'clock news because some woman gave birth to a baby in the back of a Chevy truck, I noticed two things that comforted me. A very nice jukebox that contained a million different songs and also a very nice looking waffle maker that looked clean enough for my standards. I knew then that those two things would be the very things that got me through my time at Brinkley’s.

After sitting down, I decided to bum a dollar off Tommy to pop into the Jukebox. I requested "Two Steps Behind" by Def Leppard (this song should have gotten more airplay in the 90s) and a live redention of "You Dont Know Me" by Ray Charles.

After ordering my Waffle, Bacon and Whole Milk, I felt like there wasn’t much that could go wrong there. The food started to come out, and it didn’t look bad. My waffle was crisp, like I like it, and my bacon looked good and tasted good as well. My milk was cold. The syrup supplied could have been better, but overall a good meal.