Week 6 Lottery Winner

We have randomly drawn from the names entered. This week's "Guest of Honor".

If there is one thing we can learn from the lottery this week, it's this: Persistence Pays Off.

We have reset the names for the lottery and you must enter your name again each week. To enter, scroll to the bottom of this page and look for the Guest of Honor section. It's easy you should just take 5 seconds and do it RIGHT NOW! No duplicate winners will be selected until everyone has had a turn. Enter your name anytime between Saturday and Thursday night. Remember - Thurber Party of 4 "followers" will have their entries counted twice in the drawing. New posts will be published on Wednesdays and the weekly Guest of Honor winner will be selected each Friday.

Harvest Moon Buffet

View the entire photostream with comments here.

Also check out the Harvest Moon website.

Obscurity/Location/Curb Appeal: Brian

As with many of the eateries we’ve visited, Harvest Moon Buffet is located at the epicenter of Falls Church fine dining: Graham Road and Highway 50.  In all honesty, the Thurber House has been eyeing this restaurant since our first scouting venture, and the evening did not disappoint.  Located somewhat cattycorner to Las Americas and across from a new Giant Food, Harvest Moon appears to have been a constant of the Highway 50 landscape for some time.  At first glance, the aesthetic appeal of Harvest Moon left much to be desired.  However, the sheer size of the dark, brick building coupled with the hypnotic glow of an orange moon and matching 80’s font beckoned us into an already crowded parking lot. In fact, parking was our only obstacle of the night as we were forced to engineer a spot along the service road parallel to Hwy. 50.

I immediately felt at home upon our arrival as the Harvest Moon edifice reminded me of childhood visits to the Rol-A-Rink in High Point, NC.  Harvest Moon’s true curb appeal lies in it being one of the few stand-alone restaurants in the vicinity.  Additionally, any Chinese Buffet rivaling the size of Bowl America can’t help but draw customers.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Food/Beverage: Tommy 

Driving down Annandale Rd. toward Route 50, we told Jacki, our guest of honor, the choice for the evening’s eatery. “Harvest Moon Buffet? Is that a buffet?! I love buffets!!” Like most restaurants with “buffet” in the name, Harvest Moon Buffet was just that. The selection was vast, with everything from standard fare like general tsao’s chicken and egg foo yong to more unconventional choices like “mystery white cube” which we finally had to ask the waitress about, as none of us were able to identify the substance. It had an unusual texture that Jacki accurately compared to biting into a rubber bouncy ball, but with the smell of cherry and the taste of none of the above.

The food, although plentiful, was nothing to write home about (save the “sugar balls” – balls of fried dough covered in sugar that were somewhat like a large donut hole). The stainless steel serving trays held the food just warm enough to ward off bacteria but not quite hot enough to provide hot menu items by the time you brought your plate back to your seat. Had the food been hotter, I would have given this a better rating. Also one may want to keep in mind that the food may have suffered slightly due to the fact that the staff had to keep a close eye on the wedding going on in the adjacent room, and clearly we were not the most important party in the restaurant (nor did we feel we should be). Because of the sheer number of menu items, I am not going to elaborate on what each person had; rather I’ll just let the pictures speak for themselves. Mark got a plate of this, Brian got some of this, Matt enjoyed a heaping portion of these, I got a balanced plateful of all this, Jacket got a little of this and that. Overall, Harvest Moon Buffet offers standard Chinese cuisine with a few extras like individual servings of Hershey’s ice cream. But if you’ve had one Chinese buffet, you’ve had them all. Still waiting for some Chinese buffet to prove me wrong.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Matt

To accurately evaluate the service and cost of Harvest Moon, I am going to need to approach this in terms of three distinct reviews: 1) the waitress serving our table, 2) the numerous other hosts/managers buzzing around the restaurant, and of course, 3) the price of our meal.

1) Aside from the tuxedo-type outfit that she, along with all the other servers, was wearing, the waitress at our table really did not do much to impress.  She was a little bit difficult to understand, not because of a language barrier but more because of the speed and the brevity of her words.  She gave lots of one or two word comments, such as “Soup?” when we first arrived and the occasional “Okay?” or “Yes?” to make sure we were satisfied.  In fact, no one ever really asked us if we wanted to try the buffet (although I don’t know why anyone would ever choose anything different).  We were just sort of left to figure out on our own that we should walk right up and grab a plate.  All together, I think the waitress said about 35 words to us over the course of the night – and about half of them were used to describe the mysterious white substance on the dessert cart (almond Jell-O, thank you very much).  But she kept our plates cleared and our glasses full, and for that we can only be thankful.

2) In addition to the servers, there were a handful of other employees walking all around the restaurant that seemed to be in charge of the place in some way.  Each of these people were almost over-the-top friendly and accommodating to our group, especially considering the massive wedding that was happening concurrent with our visit.  They basically let us wander freely around the wedding reception and photography area and almost pushed us all the way in to join the celebration.  One of the restaurant hosts even offered to take our picture standing in the very backdrop used by the bride and groom for their own wedding photos!  I mean, these people were nice – especially considering the fact that we were basically dressed like bums compared to everyone else in the restaurants (even the children!).

3) And finally, the cost of our meal.  No matter how bad I thought the food was, there is no denying that the Harvest Moon buffet is a bargain at $8.95.  Truthfully, I would pay that much just for an all-you-eat buffet of Jell-O and those Chinese doughnut things.

Rating: 3 Thurbs

Ambiance/Entertainment: Mark

Live wedding singers are by far the best form of entertainment. Wedding singers are closely followed by the hypnotic allure of Chinese music (which the Shazam program on Matt’s iPhone amazingly recognized). Euphoria is experienced when these two come together as they do at Harvest Moon.  And just in case you want to remember forever the night you spent with 400 of your closest friends, a camera man is standing ready to take your picture in front of the Greek-inspired floral wedding backdrop.

You can feel the love spewing forth from the fountain of youth the moment you enter the restaurant. The floral print chairs and tired decor complement the projection equipment that, on this night, was reeling a looped wedding montage. Naturally, Christie (fiancée) and I asked them how often they had weddings and if there was any availability. With quite a large smile, the owner/receptionist informed us that they have weddings every weekend and they are booked through...well, not sure but they are effectively booked solid.  No surprise there.

Rating: 3.5 Thurbs

Harvest Moon Buffet

Overall Rating: 2.375 Thurbs

Guest of Honor Review: Jacki Waring

First, let me say that i waited (and whined) for weeks for the opportunity to join the Thurber gentlemen for dinner.  My instincts were right. This was to be a grand adventure. I could have never imagined that we would inadvertently crash an authentic Chinese wedding AND enjoy fine buffet style dining in one magical evening.

Before entering the doorway at Harvest Moon, there was some foreshadowing of what was to come; namely, the crazy, jam-packed parking situation and the ladies and gents entering the restaurant dressed to the nines (i'm talking floor length gowns and carnation boutonnieres). Sure enough, just inside the door was a wedding portrait of the lovely bride and her handsome groom. And in the very next room, there they were under the fake-flower-arch, posing for pictures with their wedding guests (think prom).

Still feeling pretty awestruck, we made our way to our table and were immediately served some yummy hot tea and some so-so soup ( and by so-so i mean just okay, that's not a type of Chinese soup). Since i prefer a little variety on my plate, Harvest Moon was the perfect place to satisfy my palette. My approach was to try a little of everything that looked appetizing. My one exception was the jiggly, milky white, jello-like substance, which did not look appetizing but had a certain intrigue.  I just had to try it (actually, i made Tommy try it first). It was unanimously agreed upon that the unidentified white substance was the same consistency as a rubber ball, once it's been cut apart- although it was not very bouncy. Overall, the food was decent, definitely a good bang for your buck. And of course the pinnacle of the meal was the sugar-covered doughnut balls. I think i had 5, maybe 6 of them. The live performance by the Chinese-wedding-girl-band, being streamed live on the three jumbo-tron screens really solidified the experience for me. Oh and yes, at one point during the meal i saw Brian with his entire torso dipped in the ice cream freezer, (another wonderful buffet option); and i said, in a guttural voice, remarkably similar to the Kool-Aid guy, "Oh Yeeeaaahh. I wonder what flavors they have." This phrase was to be repeated throughout the night.  Twas a truly magical evening, and i would go back, even just for the Chinese sugar-balls and the wedding crashing.

An inspirational fortune to send you away with…

Remember to enter your name in the Guest of Honor Lottery at the bottom of the page.  You could be next week's winner!

Week 5 Lottery Winner!

We have randomly drawn from the names entered. This week's "Guest of Honor".

We have reset the names for the lottery and you must enter your name again each week.To enter, scroll to the bottom of this page and look for the Guest of Honor section. No duplicate winners will be selected until everyone has had a turn. Enter your name anytime between Saturday and Thursday night. Remember - Thurber Party of 4 "followers" will have their entries counted twice in the drawing. New posts will be published on Wednesdays and the weekly Guest of Honor winner will be selected each Friday.

La Granja de Oro

View the entire photostream with comments here.

Also check out the La Granja de Oro website.

Obscurity/Location/Curb Appeal: Tommy

Driving down Annandale Road, you may be tempted to drive right past La Granja de Oro (LGdO) by the glitz and glitter from nearby Majestic Seafood. With my foot riding the brake like I was negotiating a turn in driver’s ed class, I pulled into the parking lot of LGdO. Lo and behold, the 2nd place winner of the “Who has the most neon lights on this block?” contest! What LGdO lacks in pure wattage, they more than make up for in the fact that their building was once a Pizza Hut. Some businesses might demolish that recognizable structure in favor of their own style, but LGdO said no. “Those aren’t pizza-shaped windows,” they said.  “Those are Machu Picchu shaped windows.” If you park in the right spot, you can actually view a full third of the menu in picture and Spanish format on a large board right outside the entrance. This is a great bonus for both the English and words impaired, giving the patron a small glimpse of the Peruvian delicacies (read: meat) that is to come. Keep your eyes on the golden prize, stay away from the glamour of Majestic, and an Incan treasure is yours to behold.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Food/Beverage: Matt

La Granja de Oro serves Peruvian food.  If the Thurber Party and our special guests were dining in the ancient lost city of Machu Picchu, I would imagine the meal would be very similar to what we experienced at this restaurant.  Either that or something out of an Indiana Jones movie.  Actually, I have no idea what “authentic” or “good” Peruvian food is supposed to be.  But I can say for sure that our meal at La Granja was highly satisfactory.

Our dinner began with a pretty standard basket of dinner rolls, served with a fiery green sauce on the side.  Based just on its vibrant color and thickness, it would not be surprising to find out that this sauce came from the drain pipe of a nuclear waste facility.  However, based on taste, this was probably my favorite item from the entire meal – spicy, interesting, muy delicioso.

From there we moved on to our fine Peruvian entrees.  Tommy mildly enjoyed the “pollo en salsa de champignons” (trans: chicken in mushroom sauce).  They probably serve this same item in Italian restaurants and just call it a different name.  Brian liked the “tallarin saltado de carne” (trans: spaghetti with steak) but could not finish it all.  Preston, our out of town sub, dined on the “pollo saltado” (trans: jumping chicken?) and speculated that Peruvians must love their carbohydrates and starches, as each of our items was served with both rice and potatoes.  Our guest of honor was the star of the dinner as he feasted on a whole roasted chicken (to clarify, he ate the entire chicken by himself).  Sitting across from him as he tore through the entire thing, greasy hands and all, I can confidently say that this was probably as fun to watch as it was for him to eat.

You may be asking yourselves at this point, “I wonder what Matt the vegetarian ate at La Granja.”  Well, let’s just say this is not an accommodating place for vegetarians.  There was nothing on the menu that did not have meat in it.  I mean, literally nothing.  The soup of the day?  Beef soup.  Want some avocado?  Let us stuff it full of chicken first.  The only meatless items in the entire restaurant were the free salad bar and a few things on the kids’ menu.  So I sucked it up and ordered “pescado a la chorrilana,” i.e. fish.  It was pretty good and authentically Peruvian (or so I would guess).

Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Preston (out-of-town guest substitute for Mark)

First of all I would like to thank the guys of Thurber Court for including me in this outstanding event.   I know that I am not your beloved fourth roommate, but nonetheless ya’ll welcomed me in with open arms and for that I am honored.   With that being said let’s move onto the fun stuff - the actual dining experience.

Javier, our waiter for the evening, was quick to greet our table and welcomed us to La Granja de Oro.  He was a nice fella who kept us afloat with water all night.  After searching the menu for ages due to the copious amounts of detailed, descriptive entrees, we each settled on different selections.  Javier was kind when answering questions and steered us in the right direction with our choices.   Sure enough, right after we ordered our food it arrived for us within minutes.  Throughout the evening, Javier and his staff were good and treated us as regulars in this clearly popular location.  Although, when asked if we could play the drums, Javier responded with “Well…umm…the noise might make the others leave…I don’t want that”.  He was clearly in pure and utter disbelief that this group of five gentlemen would ask such a unique question.   All in all, I would give the service a good review and commend Javier on keeping us satisfied and stuffed.

When it comes to cost, this restaurant definitely affirms the statement that you cannot judge a book by its cover.  The outside of this place did not lead us to believe that we were entering the land of $14-$20 entrees. The price was expensive for such a place, however we each were overwhelmed with the plentiful amount of food. All in all this was a great evening and I thank the guys for including me.  Maybe one day I will be lucky enough to win the coveted lottery and be brought back again.  Until then my fingers are crossed and my prayers are en route.

Rating: 3 Thurbs

Ambiance/Entertainment: Brian

Although lacking the lighted palm trees of its flashy neighboring restaurant “Majestic,” La Granja De Oro is not to be outdone.  Unlike Pistone’s Italian Inn, La Granja actually is a converted Pizza Hut complete with illuminated flag pole out front.  Seemingly cheesy at first glance, La Granja’s ambience succeeds by narrating the story of Peru old and new.  Once inside, patrons are immediately transported to the lush hills of Machu Picchu, as painted scenes of Incan civilization adorn the walls.  Each table was neatly set and draped in traditional Peruvian woven cloths.  A fully stocked, elaborate, rather underutilized bar sat opposite the salad bar.  As the meals began to arrive, we noticed identical “golden” idols at each of the tables.  We didn’t verify it with our waiter Javier, but I’m pretty sure those idols were placed there to guard against food poisoning and slow service.

La Granja’s entertainment left something to be desired, but only because we came on the wrong night.  Hispanic music of some nature droned lightly in the background throughout the evening, but the real attention getters were the 6-piece drum kit, congas, and enough speakers to rival a Kiss concert.  To accompany these wonders were multiple tracks of stage lighting, a disco ball, and a neon star affixed to the ceiling above the dance floor.  I could envision the local Hispanic community lining up to enjoy an evening of salsa/meringue/whatever dancing as Latin American grooves fill the air and beats meant for hand drums are pounded out on the Yamaha set.  Perhaps we can return on a weekend and get a true sampling of Peruvian culture.  From the looks of it, I imagine La Granja de Oro sees more action on the weekends than the Pizza Hut ever did.

Rating: 2 Thurbs (only because they wouldn’t let Nathan play drums and there was no dancing) 

Guest of Honor Review: Nathan Mitchell

I don’t think any place Thurber Party of 4 goes to would be complete without a neon sign that’s missing some crucial letters: the sign read “LA GRANJA DE  RO.”  And since the translated name of the restaurant is “The Farm of Gold,” I will translate the neon sign as “The Farm of Old.” Mmm...reminds me of growing up in the fields of Peru, feeding the llamas, fighting the conquistadors...anyway as we walked up, everybody started getting this familiar vibe, which we all immediately recognized was because this place DEFINITELY used to be a pizza hut.  No question.  I mean it was a Pizza Hut.

When we got in it was wayyy nicer than we expected.  It was like a legit sit-down restaurant!  I believe I will be quoted as saying that La Granja would be an interesting place to bring a girl and see how she reacts, and judge all future interactions with her based on how she takes to the idol above our table, or the weird/nice stage lighting.  There was also a stage with drums and congas...and there was a relatively advanced sound system with PA speakers in every corner and subwoofers and all that...which led us all to the conclusion that this place throws down on the weekends...which was kinda hard to imagine because it was so...like...NICE.  When we saw the menu, it said, “FINE PERUVIAN CUISINE” which is great because Peruvians do a mean chicken.  So I opted for the curiously-less-expensive-than-everything-else Pollo Entero, aka an entire rotisserie chicken plus yuca, which proved to be an excellent decision!  Everybody’s meal was pretty good, and it freakin better have been, as every one of us threw in a $20 bill. Even though it was a pretty chilled out vibe, and even though I didn’t get to play the drums, and even though as we were leaving I noticed that there were pictures of llamas like seriously everywhere, we all had a pretty good time, and I will cherish this moment for the rest of my life.

Rating: 3 Thurbs

La Granja de Oro

Overall Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

New Lottery Feature!

New Thurber Lottery Rules:

As of 5/18/09, each weekly entry for a “follower” of the blog will be counted as 2 entries in the drawing for the weekly “Guest of Honor” prize. Initial entry must still be made by the participant each week. Becoming a follower may be done by clicking the “follow” button at the bottom of the blog. Thanks, and good luck!

Odds of winning are between 1:15 and 1:65,000. Offer ends 5/28/2075, no purchase necessary, void where prohibited (obviously).

Week 4 Lottery Winner!

We have randomly drawn from the names entered. This week's "Guest of Honor".

We have reset the names for the lottery and you must enter your name again each week. No duplicate winners will be selected until everyone has had a turn. Enter your name anytime between Saturday and Thursday night. New posts will be published on Wednesdays and the weekly Guest of Honor winner will be selected each Friday.

Las Americas

View the entire photostream with comments here.

Obscurity/Location/Curb Appeal: Matt

To find a place like Las Americas, you really have to be trying hard to uncover every restaurant in every hidden corner of Falls Church.  Fortunately, that’s exactly what “Thurber Party of 4” is doing.  We found Las Americas on a driving tour of Rt. 50 that eventually led us to anintersection at Graham Road.  We could easily focus our entire blog on this one intersection as it is home to about a hundred different restaurants, each with varying degrees of sketchiness and randomness.

Las Americas is tucked in a corner between a bustling supermercado, a large gas station and several other ethnic restaurants.  It pretty much cannot be seen from the highway that passes along side of it. Even from right outside of its front door, Las Americas is very unadorned and unassuming.  Simply a modest green awning, a bit of neon, and windows with the blinds pulled shut.  You might not think it was open if that neon didn’t tell you otherwise.  And you might not even think it was a restaurant if it didn’t specifically say so on the awning.  Take a few steps inside, though, and your whole world changes.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Food/Beverage: Anne Womack (Guest of Honor)

Seeing as how this was my third "Mexican" meal in three days, I felt as though I had a unique perspective coming into the evening.  That theme of "unique" proved to carry through the entire experience.  First came the chips and salsa.  The chips were very similar to the kind that come in a little-league ball park order of nachos.  You know the chip...yellow corn, various shapes, a bit stale.  These fine delicacies coupled with the half tomato paste/half imitation chipotle salsa (complete with chopped up onions sprinkled on top) provided for a wonderful beginning to our dining experience.

As for beverages, there were some "mixed drink" options, as well as domestic and imported beers.  However, there were no Margaritas to speak of, and the beer prices were a bit steep.  (And let's be honest, we may or may not have been a bit worried that the bartender might spike our drinks in order to ease our entrance onto the karaoke stage--see "ambiance.”)  So, we settled for water and soft drinks.

When our food arrived it seem seemed presentable.  Brian's "combinacion" platter, with chicken AND steak, came with rice and a half-carved avocado.  Both pieces of meat seemed edible and, as far as we know, Brian is still healthy this morning after eating them.  Matt ordered the "ensalada de verduras."  Along with various "verduras" this salad came with an interesting selection of cheese that slightly resembled tofu on top.  Matt might have had the worst luck of all of us with his meal were it not for his "papusa" side item. With a Mexican/Salvadoran drink of cinnamon and milk to wash it down, Matt's meal turned out to be "una mezcla perfecta!"  Tommy ordered the nachos, which may have been the safety-order of the evening.  They looked good and seemed to get good reviews from Tommy.  Finally, I had the "burrito del pollo."  This chicken burrito came full of grilled chicken and rice that could have been confused with fried rice. It lacked the normal brown color of Mexican rice but was enjoyable nonetheless.  The burrito was both tasty and filling.  Though this is not the cuisine I would choose on my Mexican/Salvadoran food quest, it wasn't bad at all.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Brian

In the interest of honesty, I began the evening prepared to evaluate the cost and service of a different Falls Church Hispanic eatery called Taco Laredo.  But, due to it closing at 8pm and a late start by the Thurber boys and guest, we instead traveled to Las Americas…un gran sorpresa!!!

Las Americas’ all-female wait staff was prompt in greeting our party and was dressed inidentical rose-colored button up shirts complete with nametags.  I found this to be a bit more professional than other establishments we’d visited (cough…Brinkley’s…cough!).  Our waitress felt compelled to seat our party of four at the table nearest the evening’s entertainment, the karaoke machine and its blaring loud speakers.

The head seat of our table was occupied by the mini TV displaying the lyrics to numerous Latin American hits that, surprisingly enough, everyone in Las Americas knew by heart (minus our table).  Drink and entrée orders were taken quickly and correctly with several drink refills throughout the night.  However, Anne’s glass was refilled with water while still containing remnants of Diet Coke.  ¡Qué lástima!

The cost of our fare hovered near the prices of most other Hispanic establishments.  Our dishes ranged from 8 to 12 dollars and, for the money, taste and portion size were admirable.  ¡Qué ganga!  The staff was appreciative of our visit and the karaoke DJ made Tommy promise to return in exactly two weeks.  Seriously.

Rating: 4 Thurbs

Ambiance/Entertainment: Tommy

After a long day of work, the last thing you want to see when you go out to a restaurant is a dropped-panel ceiling and more fluorescent lighting. But in case you just can’t get enough of both of these things, Las Americas (Spanish for “The Americas”) is just the place for you. The standard-issue office lighting, however, is spruced up significantly by the placement of sheets of translucent plastic with pictures of clouds on them. If you didn’t know any better, you might think you were outside and the weather was “cloudy, with a chance of radioactive-white lighting.”

The ambience of The Americas, however, was far more than just the walls and ceiling. All of us commented on the fact that this restaurant was about 10 times as loud as any other restaurant we’ve visited, although there were still only 2 other people in the restaurant with us. This feat was achieved through the national instrument of South America - the karaoke machine. With the “echo” level cranked to 11, the two ladies on the “entertainment wait staff” belted out hit after Spanish hit, urging…or, rather, forcing us to join in on the party. Matt and Brian took the first slot, belting out Hotel California and bringing the rest of the staff to their feet (although I didn’t check, they may have been standing before that point). Brian searched through the “library” of songs offered on the karaoke machine.  This handwritten list from the DJ featured all genres of music, including an extensive list from “The Beathes[sic]” with hits like “Lucy in the Sun,” “Across the with diamon,” “Here days nigest,” and “Hard Man.” After a few more hits de espanol, Brian and Anne sang a duet of Billy Joel’s classic, “The Longest Time,” with Anne bringing in the DJ for support and an extra boost of energy that carried them through the song.

The two other guests in the restaurant with us appeared to be regulars on The Americas’ karaoke circuit, with one crooning like a young Spanish Sinatra while the other drank Corona and yelled “Pero!” or “Perro!” at least 5 or 6 times during each song. My high school and college Spanish fails me quite often these days, but I am fairly sure that means either “But!” or “Dog!” Neither of these translations makes too much sense in context, but that doesn’t mean that it was any less entertaining. From the almost-bar to the karaoke smorgasbord to the blatant disregard for the Virginia smoking ban, Las Americas is the real deal.

Rating: 4 Thurbs

Las Americas

Overall Rating: 2.875 Thurbs

Week 3 Lottery Winner!

We have randomly drawn from the names entered. This week's "Guest of Honor".

We have reset the names for the lottery and you must enter your name again each week. No duplicate winners will be selected until everyone has had a turn. Enter your name anytime between Saturday and Thursday night. New posts will be published on Wednesdays and the weekly Guest of Honor winner will be selected each Friday.

Fortune

View the entire photostream with comments here.

Obscurity/Location/Curb Appeal: Mark

Seven Corners really does "Have It All", as heralded by the streetlight banners. Where else can you shop for lumber, fabric, and lobster all within the throw of fortune cookie. The lonesome brick facade extends a cold shoulder to the nearby Hwy 50, and the standalone structure, capped by gleaming red letters, felt like it had a few tricks up its sleeve. Walking towards the door, there is a reassurance in the belief that fortunes really can come true.

Fortune appeared to be feeling the strain of the economy this weary Monday night. The neon "Carry" sign was standing post in the window to reluctantly give "out" the night off. The foyer was arched with red and blue alternating giant Christmas bulbs, which served primarily as a night light for the 300 gallon lobster/crab tank. One of the lobsters asked Tommy to rub its belly.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Food/Beverage: Brian

Noticeably absent were the Chinese calendar placemats and plastic covered chairs of similar establishments, but the ensuing meal proved a delicious taste of the Far East Falls Church. As our group began to peruse a menu that rivaled the length of the Great Wall, we were delighted to find over 200 Chinese dishes ranging from boneless duck feet with green peppers and black bean sauce, to goat casserole and eternal life noodles. Free hot tea was promptly served followed by delicate, crispy spring rolls as appetizers. Initially, we struggled in making our entrée choices due to the vast array before us. I settled on Kung Pao Beef, Tommy had the Peking Duck, Matt enjoyed Eggplant with XO sauce with Hot n’ Sour soup, Emily had Orange Chicken, and Mark ate General Tsao’s Chicken. All patrons enjoyed their meals; however Matt and I noticed the sauce covering our two dishes lacked flavor. Presentation was nice and portions were large. Fortune is a must visit in the Seven Corners area. Let’s just say we put that food away like political prisoners.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for……dessert. Best of all, we enjoyed the free kind of dessert that covers the check at Chinese restaurants spanning the globe. According to our waitress, Fortune Cookies were invented in ancient China alongside fireworks, terra cotta statues, and Karate. After a satisfying meal, the Thurber party was anxious to discover our Fortune fortunes. However these tiny, prophetic messages managed to find their way into our hands, it was not by mistake. Please gaze into our futures:

Matt’s Fortune: "Friends long absent are coming back to you."

Brian’s Fortune: "Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and soul devout."

Emily’s Fortune: "Friends long absent are coming back to you."

Mark’s Fortune: "You have a friendly heart and are well admired."

Tommy’s Fortune (I kid you not): "You could prosper in the field of medical research."

Rating: 3 Thurbs

Service/Cost: Tommy

When you walk in the door to the Fortune Chinese restaurant, the first thing you may notice is that you’re not quite there yet. It’s not the usual scene where you have an open entryway where a greeter/host welcomes you and asks how many you have in your party. Instead, you face a second closed door through which I saw the greeter peering at us through curtains, undoubtedly wondering whether we were there to eat or just play with the lobsters…the answer clearly is, “can’t it be both?”

Once seated, the waitress addressed the table, asking us, “Appetizer?” before mumbling something else that wasn’t quite English. While somewhat hard to understand, she more than made up for her inability to communicate in our native tongue by trying to teach us how to order our menu items in hers. And while none of us are thinking about pursuing fluency in Mandarin, our feeble attempt at least brought a laugh to her.

When William Shakespeare spoke about suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, he was definitely not referring to this Fortune (thank you 11th grade English). Fortune actually had a good number of employees, but most were diligently working on plans for an upcoming wedding reception that was to be hosted in the “banquet section” of the restaurant. I am a little bit sad that we didn’t come on that night because I’m sure they would’ve had one of those dragons where everyone gets to get inside and then snake around the restaurant while other people light fireworks and gamble, or maybe that’s just what I think would happen because I saw it in Rush Hour. When the receipts came back, they were neatly folded, almost origami-like, with individual pens clipped to each. In my book, anything that prevents the whole “can I borrow that pen when you’re done/which receipt is mine?/you have my credit card, sir” fiasco is a great way to end a very good meal.

Rating: 3.5 Thurbs

Ambience/Entertainment: Matt

Your first steps inside Fortune feel like you accidentally wandered into their garage, with a ladder and storage crates stashed over in the corner, a stack of newspapers piled next to the door and a giant tank filled with lobsters and crabs. Also floating mysteriously in the tank with these sea creatures were about six two-liter bottles of Sierra Mist. I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on there.

Once you enter the dining room, the scene changes drastically. The inside of Fortune is what your grandmother’s house would look like if she was Chinese (and maybe she is Chinese, I don't know who you are). The walls are painted a soothing shade of lavender – even the bathroom walls. Gaudy silk flowers are strewn everywhere – even at the entrance to the bathroom. (This may be due to the fact that they were preparing for a wedding reception coming up soon, but I hope not. The grand floral archway at the entrance to the bathroom made me really happy.) Traditional/stereotypical Chinese decorations are also on display throughout the expansive dining room, including the obligatory Buddha statues, large golden dragons and Chinese characters.

Fortune’s most stunning decorative feature is the variety of large colorful paintings hung from the walls. One print portrays some nice swimming koi fish. Another depicts an inspirational scene of sailboats, bamboo trees and a golden sunset. Brian astutely noted that the creator of that painting must be the Chinese equivalent of Thomas Kinkade. My favorite print, however, captures a majestic herd of wild horses galloping out of the ocean with a rugged purple sky behind them. For some reason it reminded me of the apocalypse. Or a Bob Seger album cover. Either way, I loved it and want to put up in my own bedroom.

Throughout our visit, the dining room was starkly quiet, which somehow fit perfectly with the rest of our Fortune experience. Entertainment was sparse. No music. Very few other people around. Just two TV’s showing “Deal or No Deal” on MUTE. And no one really seemed to be watching. Sorry Howie Mandel, we’ve got all the entertainment we need at the table right in front us.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Overall Rating: 2.625 Thurbs

Guest of Honor Review: Emily Courtney
I must start off by saying what a fun time I had! Thanks guys for such a spontaneous and lively evening. Everyone should be so lucky as to win the lottery. So upon my arrival to the Thurber residence, the boys had not fully decided on a restaurant. Which of course was fine with me, because anywhere would have been a great surprise and a real adventure. They decided on Fortune. Overall, I would give the restaurant a better than average review. While we were the only guests dining in the entire establishment, the food and service still delivered. While there was a lack of real décor or ambience, I thought the spring roll and my orange chicken was worth the trip. Our waitress, dressed to the 9s, gave us a mini language lesson as we attempted to pronounce our meals in broken Chinese. My food was equal parts spicy and sweet, and I was grateful for the FREE hot tea that cooled off my tongue after I bit into half a dried chili pepper. Lastly, we all choose our fortune cookies carefully, and Matt W and I drew the same cookie! I know, how fortuitous! To break the tie we pulled a new fortune cookie apart (wishbone style). Matt was declared the winner, but I went home with a full tummy and a good time.