Victor's Grill II

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Location & Curb Appeal: Brian P.

Although lacking any aesthetic appeal to random passersby, Tommy’s Acura found physical curb appeal as his bumper scraped against it upon our arrival at Victor’s Grill II. Located on Lee Highway (see map) in the same shopping strip as El Tio and not far from Bubba’s, the Thurber party found themselves repeat victims of the all-too-familiar Salvadorean/Argentinian combo. The only thing to attract hungry locals is a large, red, neon sign amidst other neon signs in the same strip of stores. If memory serves me correctly, a dry cleaners and some other “tienda” are Victor’s neighbors. However, it gets tough to keep track of these restaurants that have the uncanny ability to offer identical fare. Sorry, readers, not much to report on the obscurity of Victor’s. Perhaps the name of the restaurant is somewhat strange. We have also discovered, as many of these South American restaurants go, there is a common necessity to include some sort of dance floor no matter how small or large the space. Additionally, karaoke must be offered at least 3 nights a week.

Rating: 2 Thurbs

Food & Beverage: Tommy

While trying to decide on what restaurant to go to, I selfishly suggested Victor’s Grill in the hopes that we would avoid a place with bad food. Now normally I’m not a believer in karma, but in this case I would be willing to entertain the idea of it. How else can you explain picking a restaurant with the title of “Grill”, in hopes of avoiding another blasé El Salvadorian restaurant, only to find that Victor’s “Grill” is actually just what you were hoping to avoid?

To be fair, the fried steak sandwich may not be their specialty, but if you want me to try your specialty, you can’t make it $28. This isn’t Ruth’s Chris Churrascaria. As such, I was relegated to the C-list of Victor’s menu (a hilarious menu, I might add). I can only assume that this menu was not done in MS Word, as the amount of red highlighting would’ve been impossible to miss or continue without spell-checking. As such, they had “chucks” of beef, both “Johnnie Walker” and “Jhonnie Walker”, as well as literally probably 30 other typos.

I chose the Milanese, or lightly fried steak sandwich. In a meat house, we knew Matt was going to have a rough time, and he opted for the salad and cheese/rice, which actually looked just like grits. Brobinson got the steak and cheese, or as I like to call it, “the poor man’s Milanese.” BP stepped out on this one, and flexed his gustatory muscles. He stepped up and ordered the Pique Macho, and macho it was. Chucks[sic] of beef, hot dogs (what?), tomatoes, and hot peppers, all arranged in a circle on the plate. I don’t even know what to say about this dish…you just read the description so you probably are thinking the same things I was. I have to give him credit, BP chose this dish on his own, it was not a blind “point at the menu and pick” type of deal. All in all, none of us could bring ourselves to pay Fogo de Chao prices in a Denny’s-like restaurant, so we may never know the true quality of Victor’s.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Service & Cost: Matt

I left “Victor’s Grill II: The Churrascaria” (what it would be called if it were a movie sequel) with one thought weighing heavily on my mind – “How did I end up spending so much money on food like that? I can’t believe this has happened again.” Here’s the full list of what I ate at Victors: rice, cheese and salad. Now here’s the full price that I paid: $12. How/why is this possible?! Even my meat-eating cohorts suffered an inordinate blow to their pocketbooks at Victor’s, paying sizable amounts of money for food that didn’t quite measure up. Of course, I often get the feeling that we’re not ordering the best items on the menu at some of these places we visit and therefore are not experiencing the best of what they have to offer. But then again, at Victor’s, those “top notch” things cost $20, which is a lot of throw down if you don’t entirely trust the place from the very moment you walk in.

Victor’s II also seems to be scraping for any source of revenue that they can possibly muster up. For example, if you ordered more food than you can eat, you can have one to-go box for free, but any additional Styrofoam boxes will cost you 99 cents. At the register, they looked to be selling greeting cards and a few other knick knacks that might appeal to the occasional impulse buyer. Want a refill on that soft drink? Sure, as long as that means buying a whole new drink at full price. There was even a very ambiguous disclaimer written on the menu that said, “Prices may be changed without prior notice.” As in, after you receive the check? I guess their financial motto at Victor’s is “whatever it takes.” I’m just thankful our forks and spoons and the table we ate at were included with the cost of our meal.

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Ambiance & Entertainment: Brian R.

The name Victor’s Grill was deceiving at best. What was by day a sparsely frequented restaurant turns popular dance club by night. Well, no I wasn’t there last Friday night, but judging from the disco ball and speakers on the wall it definitely has potential. I’m not saying you should cancel your weekend plans and expect to find Ricky Martin electrifying the dance floor, but the owner definitely did not skimp on TV’s or speakers. Nor is he looking to have any of those stolen, given they are being watched by six security cameras throughout the dining room.

Don’t let me raise your anticipation too much though. Just to wet your palette with a small example of Victor’s interior decorating efforts, our table was located perpendicular to a picture (see above) seemingly meant to be a 4x6, but transformed into a poster with stretched pixels of what most likely used to be a pig roasting on a fire with John Wayne looking on in the background. The bar, on the other hand, seemed like the only remnant of what used to be a five star restaurant. As for the rest? There wasn’t.

Potential for a romantic date? Not here.

Rating: 1 Thurb

Victor's Grill II

Overall Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Guest of Honor Review: David Garber

Victor's Grill, Roman Numeral 2, was among the most lackluster culinary experiences of my adult life. Imagine it with me: it's a "park in front" type of restaurant, which is never my first choice (something about the too-often characteristic charmlessness of worn out strip malls...), and is flanked by used car dealerships and a mega-graveyard. Inside is the church basement glare of fluorescent lights, two or three employees scurrying around the two (of thirty) occupied tables, and ivory-iridescent floral-theme wallpaper suited more for an unrenovated family dentistry lobby than anyplace I'd enthusiastically choose to eat. White floor, white walls, no less than 12 security cameras, and one lonely, silver (but glimmering with the metalic blink of every color in the South American meat-focused wall hangings) disco ball - a hint of the post-dinner crowd .. or is there one?

They didn't have plantains, which was pret-ty much the only thing I wanted, so I got yucca fries and a chicken and - surprise! - green olive pastry with what appeared to be a dash of red sharpy across it: demarking chicken as opposed to, say, beef or pork. Lick your lips appetizing.

In sum, dinner here was an experience worth having for this singular life lesson: trust your instincts - don't waste your time or your stuffed-in-jean-pockets greenbacks on the ol' Vic deux.

You could be the next Thurber Party of 4 Guest of Honor! Remember to enter the Guest of Honor Lottery at the bottom of this page for your chance to win.

This Week's Lottery Winner

Upon random selection from the names entered into the TP4 Guest of Honor Lottery, we are glad to announce THIS WEEK'S GUEST OF HONOR...

This week's lottery winner lesson: Apparently it pays to consistently enter your name in the lottery with some sort of sarcastic, no-way-i'll-ever-win type of nickname included - i.e. John "why do I even bother?" Doe ... or Joe "no chance of winning" Smith. This week's winner did this very thing for weeks, and his sardonic self-deprecation has finally proven to be a lucky charm.

Come back Friday for this week's full review.

SPECIAL NOTE from TP4 - We know we've been pretty spotty with our updates over the last few months. I guess even blogs need an extended summer break. But that inconsistency is a thing of the past. You can count on us, America! We won't let you down. Even in our absence, great things have been happening with TP4. And you'll just have to stick with us to find out what that entails. Thanks for reading.

** You could be the next Guest of Honor! We have reset the names for the lottery and you must enter your name again each week. To enter, scroll to the bottom of this page and look for the Guest of Honor section. No duplicate winners will be selected until everyone has had a turn. Remember - official Thurber Party of 4 "followers" will have their entries counted twice in the drawing!

Papa Joe's Pizza

View the entire Papa Joe's photo set with comments here.

Also, to see a map of Papa Joe's location, click here.

Location & Curb Appeal: Brian P.

You may recognize Papa Joe’s location from our previous visit to Bubba’s BBQ earlier in the summer. Located right next door to Bubba’s in a strip of stores and shops off Route 7, Papa Joe’s contains no more uniqueness than the rest of its peers. A plain, red fluorescent sign illuminates the storefront with a somewhat festive logo adorning the entranceway. Neon/LED “open” signs also fill the large windows. Two nice flat screens on opposite walls may serve to draw customers, and the bright red and yellow décor visible from the street would please any Redskins fan.

Externally, there is not much at Papa Joe’s to catch the potential patron’s eye, which is a shame. However, if you do happen to get a glimpse of this small establishment, you will notice a relatively steady stream of customers popping in to pick up a pizza or calzone. I feel no guilt in giving Papa Joe’s a low rating on curb appeal due to the fact it compensates by offering quality, reasonably priced fare. (It’s a bargain if you use the coupon we received in the mail!) Papa Joe spends his money on what counts: Food! The Thurber Party enjoyed our shared pizza that evening and we plan to return!

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Food & Beverage: Matt

Having spent the last several years in youth ministry, I have eaten more than my fair share of pizza. In particular, there is one brand of pizza that I have specialized in during this period of time - Papa John’s. I would venture to guess that I have consumed more than 300 pieces of Papa John’s pizza in the last four years. The sight, the smell and the taste of John’s mass-produced pizza creations will be forever engrained in my sense memory, for better and for worse.

Upon receiving the Papa Joe’s coupon at our doorstep, my initial impression was that this place was just trying to ride the coattails of a national pizza chain and hopefully garner a handful of accidental, confused customers who got mixed up in the Yellow Pages. Whether they’re rivals, relatives or just two pizza makers that happen to have very similar nicknames, I can say with certainty that Joe’s pizza is way better than John’s. This may not be saying much, but let me re-emphasize by saying that Papa Joe’s pizza is really, really good. All of our food was fresh, flavorful and plentiful. Our party shared an extra-large pizza with loads of vegetables and a tasty white sauce. They seem to make their own dough, and it pays off because it’s awesome. Three of us had salads that were also fresh and good. Really, the only knock against the food that I can even come up with is that their salad dressings are served in commercial-brand pouches – including the “house” dressing. Although we all drank water, they do have a decent selection of beverages at a great price, with discounts running all the way until 8pm. Joe’s is no joke. If you’re looking for a good pizza, go see the real Big Papa.

Rating: 3.5 Thurbs

Service & Cost: Brian R. (the new guy)

Being a new Thurb, new to the Falls Church area, the Thurber traditions and Papa Joe’s Pizza, I came with wide eyes and soaring expectations of what to expect. And what I found was none of what I had anticipated. I felt as if Papa Joe mistook me for the Prodigal Son. It seemed that his pigment differed quite a bit from my true father and he gave me no signet ring, but his warmness made me feel as if he actually had slain his prize goat to prepare our dinner.

Some may have said he was a little slow to leave his laptop in order to welcome us, but tending to Facebook friend requests carries a high importance also, so we were quick to forgive him. As he walked toward us, he boldly sported an oversized Tony Romo jersey and a warm smile that asked where had we been? After ordering and upon receiving our salads Brynnan confirmed that he was the actual Papa Joe. Not only was he Papa Joe, but he confidently added that he went by “Big Papa”. This must have been his street name, but he should not be confused with Biggie Smalls who similarly has been dubbed Big Papa in his popular song “I love it when You Call Me Big Papa”.

The service was constant and consistent, which may have been slightly correlated to us being his only dine-in guests. Regardless, the service was impeccable for the price we paid, which was only 12.99 for an XL pizza via a coupon. The rest of the menu was rather cheap and included everything from salads to submarines to pizzas for under $10. Beers started at 2.50 and stayed there until 8 when they went up to 3.50. Also notable was that not only did we receive our 10 slice XL pizza for 12.99 this time, but Big Papa extended the mercy of letting us keep our coupon and use it next time. And a next time there will definitely be.

Rating: 3.5 Thurbs

Ambiance & Entertainment: Brynnan Cox, Guest of Honor

I have to begin by saying how exciting it was to be this week's Chosen One. I seriously felt like I hit the actual jackpot--and Papa Joe's (and the Thurber Party of 4 company, of course) didn't disappoint. When you first walk in to Papa Joe's, it's hard to tell whether you've just walked into an old Mexican restaurant (bright and vibrant colors--a corona beer flag banner around the wall, etc.), or Redskin's Central. The particular shade of yellow and burgundy accents would suggest the latter. Interestingly enough, despite the fact that there were framed memorial images of Sean Taylor and other tributes to the much-loved DC team, Papa Joe was very adamant about the fact that he was a Cowboys fan (he was sporting his Tony Romo jersey).

While the service was great, the food was delicious, and Papa Joe was really quite a gem, strictly speaking of the topic at hand, I have to say that the ambiance wasn't exactly the greatest if you're looking for a nice quiet evening out or a romantic dinner for two. There was little sitting room for dining in and there were two televisions with quite the extreme levels of volume. It was hard to hear myself think at times, and definitely difficult to hear what my dinner company was saying. One nice aspect, though, is the light reading provided while you wait for your pizza to cook. On the counter were plenty of issues of Pizza Magazine Quarterly and a magazine all about German Shepherds...you could really pick up some random trivia and helpful tips from those two. In conclusion, if you're looking for a place to sit down and enjoy a quiet evening over pizza and beer, Papa Joe's may not be your best bet. But, if you're looking for some delicious pizza to take home or to a gathering (or you're a HUGE Redskins fan and want to be surrounded by your team colors), then it's just the place for you.

Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

Papa Joe's Pizza

Overall Rating: 2.75 Thurbs

Don't forget to enter your name in the Thurber Party of 4 Lottery found at the bottom of this page for your chance to be our next Guest of Honor! And remember - official blog "followers" are counted twice in the lottery drawing and are twice as likely be our lucky winner.

Miguel's

View the entire Miguel's photo set with comments here.

Location & Curb Appeal: Matt

This being Mark's final blog dinner as part of the TP4, we could have viewed it as a grand celebration of our time together and chosen a more lively, festive venue. But instead we just went to Miguel's. There is little about the outward appearance of Miguel's to attract attention or interest. The common passerby would probably not even realize there is a restaurant connected with the luxurious Best Western "Falls Church Inn" on Rt 50. All that distinguishes Miguel's from the hotel itself is a very innocuous awning with an old graffiti-like logo. So essentially, if you are not a guest at the Best Western, you would probably never know that Miguel's even exists. This, as they say in the restaurant biz, is "not a good thing."

(Side note: the Best Western/Miguel's combo is just across the street from our previous location, the Quality Inn/Bentley's hotel & restaurant combo. I like to imagine that there's some kind of vicious Falls Church hotel war going on between these two neighboring rivals, marked by corporate espionage, price fixing and customer ambushing. But, realistically, probably not. In fact, I think they may even be partners of some sort. How boring is that?)

Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

Food & Beverage: Mark

Let's face it. Miguel's was mediocre, and that is pretty much what we were expecting. The meal began with the traditional tomato soup -- sorry, I mean salsa and chips. Typically, you can practically see the hot grease on your freshly salted, hot out of the fryer tortilla chips. I think Miguel cooked up a big batch in the morning and then decided he would keep them warm for us all day. Yeah, they were pretty bad, but to my surprise, I kept eating them. Pure hunger, I suppose.

Tommy and I both had the chimichanga, and the first few bites started off actually pretty good. The later innings of our meal started to go down hill. Perhaps, the crisp shell turning soggy, bland flavoring, and too much salt had something to do with it. I'm not a food extraordinaire, but I'm pretty sure you want the meal to get better with every bite.

Rating: 2.5 Thurbs

Service & Cost: Brian

The Thurber household spied Miguel’s from across Route 50 just a week earlier when visiting the homage to old-folks eating, Bentley’s. Boasting Mexican/American cuisine, Miguel’s appeared to be a restaurant with a menu free of guesswork. We all expected similar outcomes in regards to cost as well. Aside from the quality of food presented, dishes were reasonably priced in the 8 to 15 dollar range for a variety of typical Mexican fare. However, Miguel’s slumped in the service department.

First, we entered a massive dining room and bar area to be greeted by no one. Then, from across the great expanse of tables, our hostess/waitress/bartender lumbered over at a snail’s pace. Whether due to personal injury or sloth we’ll never know. The lack of urgency displayed in seating the only patrons in the restaurant made a less-than-sterling first impression. Additionally, our slow-footed hostess decided to forego a number of nicer table locations, and proceeded to seat us next to a partition separating our party from the kitchen door.

Next, our meal arrived. I will admit the chef/cook did prepare our large portioned dishes in a timely fashion. Luckily, our food did not fall prey to our slow-footed waitress as the chef helped deliver them. I will give her credit for making phone calls in order to ascertain the ingredients of such mystery cocktails as the “Pecos Bill” or the “Nobody” that we tried to order. Alas, even these attempts were fruitless. Lastly, in an effort to cap off the evening in much the same manner it began, hostess/waitress took her sweet time in compiling our bill. This should be a relatively simple process that was arduously drawn out beyond necessity. Needless to say, her tip suffered accordingly. Miguel’s would benefit by excluding the Hispanic tradition of leisurely meals. It doesn’t translate well in the U.S.

Rating: 1 Thurb

Ambience & Entertainment: Tommy

If your idea of a fun evening is heading out to your local hotel and hanging out in the lobby, you’re the type of person who will love Miguel’s. To be fair, at least the hotel wasn’t too shabby (apparently it was the Best Western Hotel in the region). I couldn’t figure out who stood to gain from the partnership between these two businesses. Either the hotel lost a bet when picking their adjoining restaurant or the restaurant couldn’t find any standalone structure.

Interior décor is what I like to call “Southwestern Applebee’s” (sorry Applebee’s), but they looked like they had taking the fake stained-glass lamps and then threw in the occasional Incan idol or parrot (you know, like the parrots they have in…Mexico??). It was clean, and I felt like it was on the cusp of greatness, if only the location, food, and service weren’t holding it back. The bar was mostly for show, as nobody knew how to make any drinks (more on that in another section) and in actuality, there was no discernible “entertainment” per se, save the Better Western’s pool, which I don’t think we can include since you can’t use it for at least 30 minutes after you eat. I know we’ve set the bar high, but when your biggest “draw” is Univision on blast from the flat screen tv next to our table, there’s still something to be desired, and that something is anything…just get ANYTHING.

Rating: 1 Thurb

Miguel's

Overall Rating: 1.5 Thurbs

And now, a final word from Mark:

Alas, this is my final blog posting as a Thurberian. And while the food, often times, has been bland and uninspiring, the experience has been anything but. It has been fun. It has been real. And now, picture me doing the Sammy Sosa routine where I rapidly pump a peace sign between my chest and my mouth, followed by the anticipated arm held high, spreading peace across the land. Now, the camera gets over exposed and zooms out and pans over the field. Bowman out.

Stay tuned for the addition of a new member to the Thurber Party coming very soon! And don't forget to enter the Guest of Honor lottery (scroll to the bottom of this page) for your chance to join the party.